If you find yourself in the position of primary carer for your boyfriend or husband then DO NOT PANIC. Rest assured that all of you women are completely immune from Man Flu, so do not worry about providing the care needed. Your beloved will shortly become completely dependent on you, requiring you to tend to his every need. Do not shun any request, don't forget that the affliction that he's suffering from is hundreds of times worse than the simple affliction which you know and understand as the common cold.
There are three distinct stages to Man Flu and it's important you know your responsibilities :
Stage 1 - I think I'm coming down with a cold. Don't forget, even medical experts recommend self diagnosis, and ALL men are experts at recognising the early stages. Here you will be expected to sympathise, any flippant comments now such as , "Oh I expect it's Man Flu is it?", will cause immediate deterioration. Preferred responses will be along the lines of, "There there, can I get you some chicken noodle soup and put your favourite Police! Camera! Action! DVD on?". This stage can last from one to three days.
Stage 2 - It's not a cold, it's the 'flu. Your beloved will barely be able to lift his fingers to work the remote control by now. There will be dramatic displays of coughing and chest holding. He will present a red and sniffly nose, and a phantom fever. Do not mention Man Flu . Instead continue to serve comfort food and provide him with a selection of sports or RV magazines to take his mind off the illness ravaging his poor body. You may also be required to gently dab his forehead with a lightly dampened sponge or massage his feet. This life threatening stage may last from three to five days.
Stage 3 - It's not completely gone, but I think it's going. By now your beloved will be physically exhausted. He will have spent the previous seven days teetering on the brink of death only to have pulled through. However, he will start to feel less 'achy all over', and begin to move short distances away from the sofa. Hang in there with your pampering, you're nearly done. This stage can typically last from six to ten days. Please be aware that any sarcastic references to Man Flu at this stage can render the hapless victim straight back to the life threatening stage. He should be allowed a suitable period of convalescence (the length to be suggested by him) prior to being tasked with household tasks. If you follow this progression of care he will be back to normal in a month or so.
Because we are only allowed to park on the street here for 72 hours at a time, today was the day to move the Ponderosa again. I always make sure to take a picture so I can prove that I moved it. Sheri knows a lot of the police and peace officers around Lacombe and they have assured her it won't be a problem being there for a while.
And here is what I am having for supper. Do you think something doesn't look quite right about this do you agree?
I hope they don't stay on the plan for very long because I will probably starve and die in the meantime.
Tonight we are Street Docking outside our daughters house in Lacombe Alberta, and because we will not be moving for a while I will not bore you with pictures from our window until our view changes.